Thrift Whore Thursday Pictorial

Disclaimer: GRAPHIC SCENES OF HAWT THRIFT WHORES GETTING DEALS TO FOLLOW!!!!

Yes, that's $7.99 for a vintage, marble-topped side table. Tag also reads, 'Must Go Today'...well, I can certainly help with that:

And:

We came. We conquered. We Thrift Whore'd.

Thrift Whore Thursday-- Twerk Time!!!

Shake yo butt up & down, side to side, Betches, 'cause today 's Thrift Whore Thursday is 'bout to go off!:

And:

Confused? What y'all are looking at is a gilded entertainment center from back in the day when they knew how-to make an entertainment center! You've got built-in's for dayzzzz, like this record player shiot:

And these compartments for your album collection:

And y'all see that mirrored panel? That whore just so happens to lift up, holding one of the chic-est bars on earth! WHAT?!? Oops, guess I didn't snap a pic of that, but TRUST it was Shut-the-FU$K you amazing!! There's also two speakers tucked behind the compartment doors on both ends that look like this:

This shiot is SLAYING me-- and for only $200, it could be in y'all's living room SLAYING you too!!! Get on it! Happy whoring!!! And Twerking!

Furniture F*CKFEST, y'all!

Sometimes all the good us Thrift Whores do for the community comes back to us! Like this feast I stumbled upon at a Salvation Army furniture warehouse sale. BEYOND:

And oh shiot-- Look, y'all: that betch brought her portable cart along! WERK SHOP LIVE Hunty Blue Blouse!

Look at all this LIFE:

SHUT UP MARBLE DINING TABLE!!!

And just F*CK YOU China Cabinet all chic and shiot:

REALLY?

Oh yeah, y'all...REALLY:

ANOTHER. MARBLE. TABLE. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???

Them. Damn that was GOOD! Happy Whoring, y'all!

Thrift Whore Thursday

Y'all, the Brooklyn Heights Housing Works WERKED me over recently when I stopped in for a Thrift Whore session. Look at all this sensual candy:

Imagine that gumdrop reupholstered in some fab fabric, like a graphic plaid or geometric, then the wood trim all turned out bright white, or in an accent color lifted right out of your fabric? Dripping gorgeousness!

If y'all haven't saddled up for a ride atop the brass train yet, go ahead and spread, 'cause it's BACK in full effect-- as far as home decor goes! And not the chintzy, cheap variety...I'm talking about 100% real deal brassness...lucky for us whores, I see it ALL THE TIME at thrift stores, like these babies:

Those little bits and bots of brass are perf for those of you out there who aren't convinced that this home decor moment is really upon us...they're small, really inexpensive and will pizazz-ify y'all's shelves, mantles or coffee/end tables. Go brass or bust!

These busts kinda stopped me mid-skip in the store...I'm intrigued, slightly creeped out-- in a good way-- so naturally they worth sharing:

I would probably rock those out by painting them all white or the same color, like hot pink-- gasp wood-o-philes & art snobs-- it would totally modernize and take the hibee geebs out of 'em, right?

These lil guys just winked at me and are giving us full-on toe play...yummy:

I don't often bother with fashion while whoring...but c'mon, black COWBOY boots??? Y'all know you want them-- in your MOUTH!

Aren't these ladies just like Precious Moments statues?

They just need to be good and worked over, like most of us thrift whores! Lose those skirts and swaddle them in new amazing fabrics, ahhhh, they'll be LIVING in yo house!!! Their curvy silhouettes are giving us ALL BODY, ALL THE TIME!

This one here, style slapped me full on when I rounded the corner!:

But y'all know it's the kind of sting we thoroughly enjoy-- and SEEK OUT! More curves, round and stone-- YES! I always encourage my clients to go for the round (or oval) when selecting end tables, coffee tables, even dining tables...learned this trick from Tae...hey Tae...round is obvi feminine, it helps to break up all the masculine lines that most spaces are full of and it's easier to navigate around...keeps the energy flowing in a space.

But then again, so does this bamboo beaut:

What would she do to y'all's lives if she were painted an awesome parrot-green? You'd constantly be RIDING HER-- that's what!

And make no mistake about the one she's currently riding...

Y'all can't go wrong with these types of dressers...they're unbridled work whores! Great for storage, great as entryway tables, buffet & consoles, changing tables...sometimes y'all will need to retro-fit them for your specific needs, and of course, a can of paint in a cool color and some new knob or pull action will absolutely transform this piece-- and ultimately, YOUR LIFE!

And that's really the whole point of being a thrift whore, no? Happy Whoring!

Show Me Your Teeth, Thrift Whores!

And that means it's Thursday, y'all! Get ready to do your Thrift Whore dance...5...6...7...8...cue dry ice...and when the smoke clears, look and see what the Brooklyn Heights Housing Works is serving us this week:

We've just been style-slapped by this pony covered settee! DAMN! It's so un-p.c., I KNOW, y'all, but the decorating deed has already been done long ago, so somebody better saddle UP and get this in your house...PRONTO!

Right about now is the point in my Thrift Whoring that I wish all my years of dreaming for some sort of warehouse space was a reality, b/c that settee would be on my back on it's way there...alas, one day...and this too...damn double hot in one place:

And the hotties just keep jumping off the shelves in the Housing Works...what what!

So chew on that, y'all! And happy whoring!!!